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Glass dance world flickers on///
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| the rock, on waking |
[27 Dec 2009|04:13pm] |
Life is gone. Living things being gone, Lifeless things are no longer Lifeless. There is no lifeless. Lifeless is gone.
I am dead. Being dead, I do not think. I think no longer, "This is life, and That is lifeless." I think no longer, "This is right, and That is wrong."
Right is gone and wrong is gone.
He is gone, it is gone, flailing is gone, concept is gone, tumbled is gone, query is gone, and leaf is gone.
This is gone.
The rock, on waking, yawns and thinks no longer: "I am gone."
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[27 Dec 2009|02:34pm] |
Hail Mary, full of grace, how many times more will I say this? In my heart I know this action-- this speaking of human words, decreed sacred by human words, prescribed by a mortal human man to me as penance for my mortal human sins-- is, in a way, arbitrary.
Holy Mary, mother of God, since when do these words in this order in this language this number of times save the human soul from torment in the Lake of Fire?
Hail Mary, full of grace, what does it mean to be blessed?
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| Poem - Into the snowy dawn |
[28 Dec 2009|01:48am] |
This is my first post here as new member. So i guess i better share something as greeting. It's a poem i wrote during winter last year. Well, not like i ever meet a single snow drop in my life, but maybe i just follow the flow.
( Into the snowy dawn ) Do comment on this piece. >.
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| The Beauty Continues.. |
[26 Dec 2009|10:19am] |
 As I reflected this morning...
The beauty of Christmas and its gentle tenderness has the power to bring both joy and tears... and yet as I look out the window and see God's grace and the splendor of snow, I can only respond in awe, joy, and tears.
It's still snowing! ... depending on what part of the state, folks got 12-24 inches...and Yes, I love the snow!



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[26 Dec 2009|07:48am] |
i came home to find her on the kitchen floor
tweezers an eye dropper and some glue in hand putting an egg back together
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[25 Dec 2009|07:23pm] |
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i turn to droplets of solid rain and fall upon the face of the wind.
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[25 Dec 2009|08:58pm] |
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blank |
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music |
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30 minutes- TATU |
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your screams they make me feel alive
they speak to me and like dust they fly
they soar and live on
they echo or maybe you're screaming again?
keep going scream the silence away my dear
live in my world |
the street lamps call to me they murmur sweet lies
the fallen white of sky dusting a rotten palace
the dim lights of people flicker hauntingly dull
the smoke rises in ringlets a soft grey illusion
they're calling to me telling me all
all that i don't ever want to know.
I`m not sure why the first poem is like that, but I figure, better there and a little fucked up, then not at all, ne?
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| his hiis |
[24 Dec 2009|08:09pm] |
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content |
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motcart |
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Timur- a that Hop-o'-my-Thumb --Did not trust in The Tangra- anger of Aggiyll- --And Asparukh descendant Akhileos- --and Anger such them-- Timur foresaw -- But to meet Kristening peasants from them and Prince--
--It from Harvard or Prinston- --And here arrived look-and --The Tiger in a Zoo --Inscription of Tigr- --Taxists ithere here for the Street --A Cat s steps Tcаis Yena- --It looked in in his Glass- --Not understood that its Head in in his Past'- Timur in said tiy molodoy and in on Centimetres 8 Hands with Half
O GERMETISTE TRISMEGISTE MNE NE WSE ROWNO hip hop
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| Sick. |
[22 Dec 2009|08:32am] |
I'm holding a hammer. And there is blood on the bathroom tiles.
Looking in the mirror, staring at the deep scratches across my face,
I know that something isn't right.
In the room next to me, a 'Nurse with Wound' record plays.
The volume is up, but not high enough to silence the screaming girl.
I found her drunk in a park, I dragged her home. We dropped acid.
I put the record on.
We got naked, she was junkie thin. Wide-eyed and feral.
...then I hit her. She must have fought back. Or tried.
Because now, I'm holding a hammer. And there is blood on the bathroom tiles.
My blood.
This time I went too far.
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| elysian |
[21 Dec 2009|09:02pm] |
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music |
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Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down- Blue October |
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she dreams of fiery reckless heavens underneath a patchwork cut-out sky, contours in the dark amid worlds (her laugh is brazen, it chimes true) there are splinters of gold in his inky eyes that hold the sea speak of a puzzle that they weave their languid dance batters against the dusk with a quiet imperfection a bruised charisma (drinking of heroes and philosophers) a butterfly brews the storm of ethereal kismet she knows them beneath her eyelashes the arch of his wings the elusive bones that curve wildly
but she dreams it better when- there is such an elysian intertwined between their fingertips.
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| sewn up and lain to rest |
[20 Dec 2009|01:37pm] |
this poem opens itself with a knife. " using the knife like a scalpel, the body is split " open " bleeding all over the guts are a tangle and littered with vestigial bits: " this love is like no other; a stone on the hill like the sun on the horizon; light over water; the bombs bursting in air; zang tumb tuuum; before the law; Major Major Major Major; and so on. " its origin must be lowly; its designer must be feeble; it must have been a blind watchmaker-- this results from hearing about Giants' shoulders, their hands counting the seconds while nothing has happened but the obsession with... " but it had come too late. there was nothing it could do.
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| Last tear |
[19 Dec 2009|05:29pm] |
My eyes burn as the hot tears fall
No sound escapes my pressed lips
As I sit in the deep, and the dark letting my depression devour me
and wrap its chilling arms around me
as its hard grip tightens around my heart
draining the last ounce of light
I have I don't want this! Why am I still here?
I don't want to remain in this cold, stark, painful place
alone
I feel a spark inside as I break the grip he has on me
and look down at myself
Watching as the light inside slowly rekindles itself
feeling the tears dry up on my face
leaving no trace
as I pull myself together and prepare to leave here
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| Foetus. |
[20 Dec 2009|05:05am] |
Um, I guess this poem has nihilistic themes... that may offend.
( ... )
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[18 Dec 2009|07:37pm] |
The Neighbor
'Let's go next door'
but the Neighbor is looking over the hedges
August is the cruelest month
and when he sings the blues
he sings it to his dog
Maybe I should go round
'You have a nice voice, want to dance?'
but his catch phrase isn't that interesting
If I knew his name
Maybe I would drop by
and leave a note
his fence dips low, just enough to put my head off
Is that him behind the jasmine?
looking awkward
searching for an answer
to some question
singing a love song
that has no end
It just dribbles off his tongue
and falls flat
'Pick up that tempo'
Maybe there will time later
I think that is him now
knocking on my door
a cigarette falling off his lips
I don't think I will answer
cause when I hear him singing
I know he loves himself
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| Patience |
[18 Dec 2009|02:45pm] |
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pleased |
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When your heart races and your mind is rambling
You feel nervous and fear makes you anticipate the moment when your hands meet & the First Glance
Patience is a battle to contain. The calming of it seems impossible.
But the waiting helps redeem that special moment. The Appearance between you & me.
How can i wait to see you? How can i get my heart, body and mind to cooperate with your schedule?
I understand, But it's a task to get everything to understand as well
Patience is what i am trying to teach myself.
Patience is the key to Success, I guess that is why it is so hard to compose...
The Night before is the hardest.
The days before were easier because i had a plan, I could create plans.
Now the plans are gone and everything seems to be corrupt.
Restless and not about to sleep, I am watching the time hoping it passes like the wind.
Laying there trying to make myself rest , trying to restrain my hyper-nervousness to get ready for the big day me and you finally reunite.
The time is almost here and i am looking in the mirror re-checking myself. My fear has now turned into Adrenaline and i am ready to face this moment.
I wasn't late But beginning to hear my heart beating in my ears
Confident and cool when he approached me , My heart and mind was finally at ease when he touched me
Walking back to his place hand and hand I was proud. Proud of the way things turned out proud of the way i composed myself.
And after wondering and wondering what that initial moment would be like it was the Patience that made his touch even more special and even more worthy.
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| As the Sun this morning rose |
[19 Dec 2009|02:15am] |
As the Sun this morning rose, Mother woke: Her thoughtflowers reverently praised Him, while Her treefingers danced delightfully To the songs of love-birds in play.
The wind she helped comb Mother's lush hair, And on it planted pretty pearldewdrops Then, effortlessly, swiftly, Laced it with browngreen leafy bows.
As she puffed her face with scents of Spring The earthworms uncreased her earthy skin. When all ready, she blushed warmly, and Spun around shyly to half-hide from Him her beauty.
As the Sun this morning rose, Man woke: In grumbling groans set off to work.
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[16 Dec 2009|09:59pm] |
there is no world no universe
there is only the one room with only the one window and the one set of drapes and the one breeze blowing across your face
there are no memories just the sense that everything already happened and you missed it
you were in the bathtub soaking in fear
you forgot to rejoice you had no memory you had only the want
you know this but remember
the want always wants
and when you can no longer serve the want
you'll be left alone by want in the one room with the one window and the one breeze with no memories just a sense that everything already happened and you missed it
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[16 Dec 2009|09:38pm] |
ahead of you the mountain looms larger and this is cause for alarm and behind you the echoes of laughter the warmth of a kiss upon your cheek and this is cause for sadness
and yet neither reach out far enough to touch you and though they heckle from the sidelines and intimidate with their cackles they know their own limitations
the great fear of tomorrow and of yesterday is that you will realize in this moment neither can touch you
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| You Are To Me |
[16 Dec 2009|10:42pm] |
You Are To Me
Like a drumbeat Clear and loud Through miles of fog and lots of sound Like a lightbulb Turning on: Sharp relief from shadows
Caught between ending and starting Days follow nights follow days Moving and tumbling and reeling Spinning circles inside a maze
Like a bird's wings Opening up To soar; to fall; To hope for more Like a motor's starting purr A goodbye, a return, a chance That's what you are to me
You're the sun out on the horizon Rising or sinking, no one can say You're the moon, orbiting an orbiting globe And never seen in the day
You're like curry Spicy and warm Familiar and foreign At once And you're like a singer's Encore song The cherry on the whipped cream
We're caught between ending and starting Our days follow nights follow days We're moving and tumbling and reeling Spinning circles inside out maze
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| There today no more than here yesterday |
[16 Dec 2009|11:08pm] |
There today no more than here yesterday: Hearts who rush on express lanes, so to stay Together - so little, more like apart, more like least understanding of whose heart.
Whose heart we take whose heart that is offered, If hearts know not to own? To whom owing Promises of love, or unrequited Dreams: No more, no less than hollow shells' songs.
Songs of mere promises, more sweetly sung To empty ears? Eyes see not what is heard By hearts that beat quick in vacuumed spaces: Unheard, less than a love whispered in sleep.
In sleep, all men die and begin to dream Of things they understand least; most by hearts, Of love and songs sung for other hearts lived There today no more than here yesterday.
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| Equal night |
[15 Dec 2009|11:53pm] |
Equal night; balance of Earth
Our symmetry is nature the sweet color of spring, that winter brings
Magnetic; together by force
Your virtue is my flaw your failing is my tact, opposites attract
Oceans merge into breathing rivers; A new life is born
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| Just a little something I scribbled down |
[15 Dec 2009|10:47pm] |
I hung my heart upon a string hung my head and watched it swing morbidly I took it down lifeless and thus useful now
--Will I Dare Look In His Eyes?-- will I raise my gaze to meet the rays ebbing from his ocean eyes? will I meet the warmth that pierces the storm crashing on these craggy lies? will I do I dare meet his eyes? stand staring at another life? the person that I almost was before courage broke the jungle's laws?
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| I hope someone can understand this |
[16 Dec 2009|01:18am] |
Sometimes I think it's coming back, maybe it never left i'm under attack. Can't defend myself 'cos the opposition is within my skin, this losing battle can I ever win? deep fighting and destroying, I get an urge to hurt myself and make myself sickly thin, howcome I deal with things so different? Positivity keeps me alive, the strength knowing that I survived, I did it once i'll do it again, I'm gonna beat myself in the end. Insecurity self doubt secrets i'll never tell and worry start to attack, but my courage is fighting back. To try be happy within myself i'll do everything, 'cos I know i'm worth loving. I am strong and I am weak, skipping meals & loosing sleep, binging out and sleeping in, diet diet then pig out, people wander what its all about, they can think what they want they'l never know why i'm proud of who I am, then constantly second guessing questioning and hating everything I am, One step forward and one step back, between myself just creating a bigger gap.. So far from who I used to be, sometimes I think i'm close secretly I don't know how but i'm going to try, am I being true to myself... the best thing is to never lie, in a way I am in a way I wanna die. i'm happy i'm sad, i'm gutted i'm glad, this is the most stable i've ever been, soon i'll stop fighting the person within.
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| Easy target |
[15 Dec 2009|04:15pm] |
Putting faith in humanity. . . is like placing a rifle in your enemy's icy, hard hands
Letting them inside, sharing your secrets. . . is like baiting them to pull the trigger
Letting down your guard and allowing them full access to the deep places of your mind unknown to man. . .
That's like ripping the rifle from their hands
pressing the barrel to your head
and pulling the trigger. . .
It's simply suicide.
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| Silent Scream |
[15 Dec 2009|03:07am] |
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Silent Scream
It is a terrifying and deafening sound An unbidden rhythm stirring in the corners Hidden within the deepest recesses of our mind Following closely behind us in our haunted footsteps Just patiently waiting for the right time to pounce It is inevitable that we are caught and chained Stripped and tortured out of our emotions Our mouths open to let out a plea But who can hear our silent scream?
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| Nebraska. |
[15 Dec 2009|02:03am] |
Yeah I drink Gin too, so what? Sure, my favourite Springsteen album is 'Nebraska'. It means nothing.
At one point we even smoked the Same brand of cigarettes,
Not anymore. I can move on, Can you?
And maybe I stole the underwear you were wearing the night you lost your virginity.
I was there, It doesn't mean I own you.
The black headband around my wrist, reminds me of hospitals, oceans and parks. But not you.
It was the night I scrawled "Will you marry me?" In chalk on the balcony wall.
You just smiled, drunk. And looked away.
And I knew that it was over.
So I keep drinking Gin. And I listen to that one Springsteen album.
But in the end, it still means nothing.
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| untitled five |
[14 Dec 2009|12:43pm] |
Suddenly, I squeeze my eyes shut, like blocking the black hole sucking all of reality away into the foamy screams of the devouring sea. I would sacrifice myself to deafness, like a thoughtful creature, and gently place my shaking hands over your ears with awkward grace. Bring you closer to my lips, I want to share my thoughts the safest way I think would be as slowly as we kiss, remembering every moment. It is in you and me, but we swore we did not see. We did not hear what we did sing. We did not speak what we do think. How does this change the fervent heat I feel under my clothes like the rain has no chance to defeat and take control? My heroine, I'm slowing down. I'm amphetamine at a crawl. Evil has no chance, at all, to defeat and take control.
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| a poem i wrote for my boyfriend |
[14 Dec 2009|10:46am] |
dark, romantic eyes flash glances at me as they slowly and tenderly caress my body with their warmth.
they stare deep into my soul and i find myself having to look away scared of the power they have over me.
this feeling causes fear to spread throughout my body. because while there is so much to gain, there's just as much to lose.
but i force myself to refocus my eyes on yours. because i know, you'll never lead me astray.
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